reminder to myself: don't compare

Years ago, I was going through a rough time, and I made myself a mix CD of some of my favorite songs.  They were mostly rock/alternative songs that captured my anger and sadness at the time.  To this day, I still love the CDs I made during that time because I was so emotionally connected to the songs, but that's also what makes it difficult to listen to them a lot nowadays.  One of those songs is "Poem" by Taproot.  Part of the chorus is:

"This song is a
poem to myself;
it helps me to live..."

My thought with this post is:

This post is a
reminder to myself;
it'll help me to live.

But obviously it doesn't fit perfectly with the tune.  Such is life.

Sometimes I need to remind myself of things.  Well, really, it usually goes like this:

1. I'm upset/confused/sad/losing hope about something.
2. I mull it over for a while.  Sometimes a long while.
3. God reminds me of something.
*new step!* 4. I will try to write about it to reinforce the reminder with myself.
5. I typically feel somewhat better, although usually not totally resolved because that isn't how life tends to work.  God is not a genie who fixes all your problems with a *poof* and a cloud of smoke.  It takes time for us to work things out.

Onto this evening's reminder:

source; found via Pinterest

It is so easy for me to get caught up in comparing myself to other people.  There are people that I tend to admire for certain reasons, and the reasons can differ from person to person.  And sometimes the things that I find myself jealous of are not exactly things that I want.  But usually they are similar, and the whole fact that the person is advancing in their life and accumulating what I want is what is jealousy-inducing.  Also, these things are not always "things."  Sometimes they are types of friendships or relationships, sometimes they are character traits, sometimes they are achievements, sometimes they are habits (or the breaking of bad habits).  Sometimes they are things, like houses or cars.  And sometimes they are babies.  Just being honest.

Facebook is such a trigger for this.  People tend to show you their best side through their statuses and photos (and I'm definitely not immune to this).  So I sign on and am bombarded with pictures of people's houses or kids and their status updates about the latest cool thing they're doing or their deep thoughts on life.  And I look around at my rental that I never quite made "home," observe the lack of children, notice how I'm on Facebook and have not done anything cool and have no plans to do something cool, and mourn the fact that I used to have deep insights about life but somewhere along the line I shut up that part of my brain.  And I don't even have any witty thoughts to share.  Pitiful.

But Facebook isn't the only thing to blame.  I take in words and images from blogs, emails, and conversations, and sometimes I just flat out imagine how wonderful other people's lives must be.  And this isn't to say that my life is terrible.  I am blessed with a husband I love, great family, some close friends, a bit of Christian community, opportunities to learn and serve, food to eat, a place to live, a car to drive, a job to help make those things possible.  But I know what I struggle with inside.  I know the parts of my life and the world around me that I would like to improve.  And these things are harder to see and imagine when it comes to other people.

However, these people are not what matter when it comes to improving myself and my world.  Truly, not even my family and friends matter, whether I believe they have X that is wonderful or Y that is hard for me to deal with.  This problem isn't about them.  This problem is about me, and the only person I have to compare myself with is Jesus.  And at the end of the day, I am trying to remember that, yes, God has standards, but I am not God, so I will never measure up, and He extends grace every time.  He just asks that I look to Him for my example, go to Him with the broken parts of my life, and ask for His help in redeeming things and growing into who He has created me to be.

My challenge is to push away the thoughts of comparison that steal my joy, to stop focusing on other people and myself, and to focus solely on God.  It reminds me of one of my favorite passages:

So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won't let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us.  We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete.  He endured the shame of being nailed to a cross, because he knew that later on he would be glad he did. Now he is seated at the right side of God's throne!  So keep your mind on Jesus, who put up with many insults from sinners. Then you won't get discouraged and give up.

Hebrews 12:1-3, CEV